Charles' Journal, April 30, 1736

Fri., April 30th. I had some farther talk with him in bed. He ordered me whatever he could think I wanted; promised to have me an house built immediately; and was just the same he had formerly been to me.

Charles' Journal, April 29, 1736

Thur., April 29th. About half-hour past eight I went down to the bluff, to see a boat coming up. At nine it arrived with Mr. Oglethorpe. I blessed God for still holding his soul in life. In the evening we took a walk together, and he informed me more particularly of our past danger. Three great ships, and four smaller, had been seen for three weeks together at the mouth of the river; but the wind continuing full against them, [they] were kept from making a descent, till they could stay no longer. I gave him back his ring, and said, "I need not, Sir, and indeed I cannot, tell you how joyfully and thankfully I return this." "When I gave it you," said he," I never expected to receive it again, but thought it would be of service to your brother and you. I had many omens of my death, particularly their bringing me my mourning sword; but God has been pleased to preserve a life which was never valuable to me; and yet, in the continuance of it, I thank God, I can rejoice." "I am now glad of all that has happened here, since without it I could never have had such a proof of your affection as that you gave me, when you looked upon me as the most ungrateful of villains." While I was speaking this, he appeared full of tenderness; and passed on to observe the strangeness of his deliverance, when betrayed on all sides, without human support, and utterly defenceless. He condemned himself for his anger, (God forgive those who made me the object of it!) which he imputed to his want of time for consideration. "I longed, Sir, to see you once more, that I might tell you some things before we finally parted: but then I considered that if you died, you would know them all in a moment." "I know not whether separate spirits regard our little concerns. If they do, it is as men regard the follies of their childhood, or as my late passionateness."

Charles' Journal, April 25, 1736

Easter-day, April 25th. The people were alarmed at night, by the sight of two great fires, on either side of the town, not knowing if they were made by friends or enemies. Next morning news was brought of a boat coming up. Every one seemed under a consternation, though no one but myself was fully apprized of our dangers. At night the watch was doubled by Captain Mackintosh. The people being unwilling to comply with his orders, I was forced to tell Mr. Hird, the constable, that there might be danger which Mackintosh alone knew of, and therefore they ought to obey. He promised it for himself and the rest. Though I expected every hour that the Spaniards would bring us the news of Mr. Oglethorpe's death, yet I was insensible of fear, and careless of the consequence.

But my indifference arose from stupidity rather than faith. There was nothing I cared for in life, and therefore the loss of it appeared a trifle.

Charles' Journal, April 24, 1736 Oglethorpe prepares for death

Easter-eve, April 24th. At ten I was sent for by Mr. Oglethorpe. He began,

"Mr. Wesley, you know what has passed between us. I took some pains to satisfy your brother about the reports concerning me, but in vain. He hereby renews his suspicions in writing. I did desire to convince him, because I had an esteem for him; and he is just so considerable to me as my esteem makes him. I could clear up all, but it matters not. You will soon see the reason of my actions.

"I am now going to death. You will see me no more. Take this ring, and carry it from me to Mr. V. + If there is a friend to be depended upon, he is one. His interest is next to Sir Robert's. Whatever you ask, within his power, he will do for you, your brother, and your family. I have expected death for some days. These letters show that the Spaniards have long been seducing our allies, and intend to cut us off at a blow. I fall by my friends, Gascoin, whom I have made; the Carolina people, whom I depended upon to send their promised succours. But death is to me nothing. T. will pursue all my designs; and to him I recommend them and you."

He then gave me a diamond ring: I took it, and said, "If, as I believe, Postremum fato, quod te alloquor, hoc est,

hear what you will quickly know to be true, as soon as you enter upon the separate state. This ring I shall never make any use of for myself. I have no worldly hopes. I have renounced the world. Life is bitterness to me. I came hither to lay it down.

"You have been deceived, as well as I. I protest my innocence of the crimes I am charged with; and take myself to be now at liberty to tell you what I thought never to have uttered."

When I had finished this relation he seemed entirely changed, full of his old love and confidence in me. After some expressions of kindness, I asked him, "Are you satisfied?" He replied, "Yes, entirely." "Why then; Sir, I desire nothing more upon earth; and care not how soon I follow you." He added, he much desired the conversion of the Heathen, and believed my brother intended for it. "But I believe," said I, "it will never be under your patronage; for then men would account for it without taking in God." He replied, "I believe so too :" then embraced and kissed me with the most cordial affection. I attended him to the scout-boat, where he waited some minutes for his sword. They brought him first, and a second time, a mourning sword. At last they gave him his own, which had been his father's. "With this sword," says he, "I was never yet unsuccessful." "I hope, Sir," said I, "you carry with you a better, even the sword of the Lord, and of Gideon." "I hope so too," he added.

When the boat put off; I ran before into the woods, to see my last of him. Seeing me and two others running after him, he stopped the boat, and asked whether we wanted anything. Captain Mackintosh, left Commander, desired his last orders. I then said," God be with you. Go forth, Christo duce, et auspice Christo!" "You have," says he, "I think, some verses of mine. You therefore see my thoughts of success." His last word to the people was, "God bless you all!" The boat then carried him out of sight. I interceded for him, that God would save him from death, would wash out all his sins, and prepare, before he took, the sacrifice to himself.

Letter to General Oglethorpe, April 20, 1736

SAVANNAH, April 20, 1736.

Savannah never was so dear to me as now. I believe, knowing by whom I send, I may write as well as speak freely. I found so little either of the form or power of' religion at Frederica, that I am sincerely glad I am removed from it. [He was there from April 10 to 17.] Surely never was any place, no, not London itself, freer from one vice; I mean hypocrisy.

O curvae in terris animae, et coelestium inanes! [Persius' Satires, ii. 61: 'O grovelling souls, and void of things divine!']

'Jesus, Master, have mercy upon them!' There is none of those who did run well whom I pity more than Mrs. Hawkins. Her treating me in such a manner would indeed have little affected me, had my own interests only been concerned. I have been used to be betrayed, scorned, and insulted by those I had most labored to serve. But when I reflect on her condition, my heart bleeds for her. Yet with Thee nothing is impossible!

With regard to one who ought to be dearer to me than her, I cannot but say that the more I think of it, the more con vinced I am that no one, without a virtual renouncing of the faith, can abstain from the public as well as the private worship of God. All the prayers usually read morning and evening at Frederica and here, put together, do not last seven minutes. These cannot be termed long prayers; no Christian assembly ever used shorter; neither have they any repetitions in them at all. If I did not speak thus plainly to you, which I fear no one else in England or America will do, I should by no means be worthy to call myself, sir,

Yours, &c.

Letter to Charles, April 20, 1736

SAVANNAH, April 20, 1736.

I still extremely pity poor Mrs. Hawkins; but what can I do more, till God show me who it is that continually exas perates her against me ? Then I may perhaps be of some service to her. There is surely someone who does not play us fair; but I marvel not at the matter. He that is higher than the highest regardeth; and there is that is mightier than they. Yet a little while, and God will declare who is sincere. Tarry thou the Lord's leisure and be strong, and He shall comfort thy heart.

Saturday, April 17, 1736

Not finding as yet any door open for the pursuing our main design, we considered in what manner we might be most useful to the little flock at Savannah. And we agreed 1) to advise the more serious among them to form themselves into a sort of little society, and to meet once or twice a week, in order to reprove, instruct and exhort one another; 2) to select out of these a smaller number for a more intimate union with each other, which might be forwarded, partly by our conversing singly with each and partly by inviting them all together to our house; and this, accordingly, we determined to do every Sunday in the afternoon.

Charles' Journal April 16, 1736

Fri., April 16th. My brother brought me of a resolution which honour and indignation had formed, of starving rather than asking for necessaries. Accordingly I went to Mr. Oglethorpe, in his tent, to ask for some little things I wanted. He sent for me back again, and mid, "Pray, Sir, sit down. I have something to say to you. I hear you have spread several reports about."

The next day my brother and Mr. Delamotte set out in an open boat for Savannah. I preached in the afternoon on, "He that now goeth on his way weeping, and beareth forth good seed, shall doubtless come again with joy, and bring his sheaves with him."

Charles' Journal, April 14, 1736

Wed., April 14th. By a relation which my brother gave me of a late conference he had with her, I was, in spite of all I had seen and heard, half persuaded into a good opinion of M. H. For the lasting honour of our sagacity be it written!

Charles' Journal, April 11, 1736

Sun., April 11th. What words could more support our confidence, than the following, out of the Psalms for the day? --" Be merciful unto me, O God, for man goeth about to devour me. He is daily fighting, and troubling me. Mine enemies are daily in hand to swallow me up; for they be many that fight against me, O thou Most Highest. Nevertheless, though I am sometimes afraid, yet put I my trust in thee. I will put my trust in God, and will not fear what man can do unto me. They daily mistake my words: all that they imagine is to do me evil." (Psalm lvi. 1-,5.) The next Psalm was equally animating :--" Be merciful unto me, O God; for my soul trusteth in thee: and under the shadow of thy wings shall be my refuge, until this tyranny be overpast. I will call upon the most high God; even unto the God that shall perform the cause which I have in hand. He shall send down from heaven, and save me from the reproof of him that would eat me up. God shall send forth his mercy and truth; my soul is among lions. And I lie even among the children of men, that are set on fire: whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword. Set up thyself, O God, above the heavens; and thy glory above all the earth." (Psalm lvii. 1-6.)

I had just recovered strength enough to consecrate at the sacrament: the rest my brother discharged. We then got out of the reach of informers, and proceeded in my account; being fully persuaded of the truth of M. W.'s information against Mr. Oglethorpe, M. H., and herself.

Next morning Mr. Oglethorpe met and carried us to breakfast at the modest M.H.,s. At noon my brother repeated to me his last conference with M. W., in confirmation of all she had ever told me.

At night I took leave of Mr. Horton, Mr. Hermsdorf, and Major Richards, who were going, with thirty men, to build a fort over against the Spanish look-out, twelve leagues from Augustine.

April 10, 1736, Diary of John Wesley

Private prayer; prayed. 6 Breakfast, religious talk. 6.30 Greek Testament; sang. 7 Religious talk with Nowell. 7.45 Greek Testament; religious talk with them; Greek Testament; sang. 10 Shaved. 10.15 Greek Testament; sang. 12 Dinner, religious talk. 12.30 Necessary talk. 1 Storm; religious talk with Delamotte, etc. 2 Wind for us! 3 Dinner. 3.15 Writ diary; necessary business. 4 Meditated; prayed; religious talk with soldier etc. 5 Opened Bible and Kempis; prayed for Oglethorpe, Mrs Hawkins, etc. 5.30 At Frederica; Mr Oglethorpe came on board and received us with the utmost love, saluted Mrs. Hawkins. 6 Religious talk with Charles of Frederica. 7 He read Prayers, expounded; Mrs Hawins there. 7.30 Religious talk with her, she quite cold and reserved (no. 1) 8.30 With Oglethrope, he quite open and friendly [9] Horton came, friendly. 9.30 Storehouse; prayed.

Charles' Journal, April 10, 1736

Sat., April 10th. Mr. Reed waked me with news of Mr. Delamotte and my brother being on their way to Frederies. I found the encouragement I sought in the Scriptures for the day, Psalm liii.: "Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man? the goodness of God endureth continually. Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. Thou lovest evil more than good; and lying than to speak righteousness."

At six Mr. Delamotte and my brother landed, when my strength was so exhausted I could not have read prayers once more. He helped me into the woods; for there was no talking among a people of spies and ruffians; nor even in the woods, unless in an unknown tongue. He told me the scripture he met with at landing was, "If God be for us, who can be against us?" and that Mr. Oglethorpe received him with abundant kindness. I began my account of all that has passed, and continued it till prayers. It were endless to mention all the scriptures which have been for so many days adapted to my circumstances; but I cannot pass by the evening lesson, Heb. xi. I was ashamed of having well-nigh sunk under mine, when I beheld the conflicts of those triumphant sufferers, of whom the world was not worthy.

April 9, 1736, Diary of John Wesley

4.30 Prayed; prayed for Oglethorpe, etc. 6 Breakfast. 6.15 Greek Testament; sand, alterne. 8.15 Read Prayers; religious talke with Mr. Mackay. 9 Read Parnell to him, he fell asleep. 10 Greek Testament; sang. 12 Sang with Delamotte; sang; prayed; meditated; slept. 1 Greek Testament; sang. 3 Dinner. 3.15 Greek Testament; sang. 4/15 Meditated. 5 Prayed; sand; prayed. 6 Greek Testament; sang; prayed. 7 Private prayer. 8 Read Prayers (wind contrary!).

Charles' Journal, April 9, 1736

Fri., April 9th. While talking to Mrs. Hird, I turned my eyes towards the huts, and saw Mr. Lassel's all in a blaze. I walked towards the fires, which, before I could come up to it, had consumed the hut, and everything in it. It was a corner-hut, and the wind providentially blew from the others, or they would have been all destroyed.

April 7, 1736, Diary of John Wesley

5 Prayer; sang. 6 Prayed. 6.15 Bread. 6.45 Read Antoinette Bourignon; sang. 9 On board; Mr. Delegal; ate fish. 10.30 On shore with Delamotte. 11 Read Antoinette Bourigon; religious talk. 2 Rain, flies. 2.15 On board; Antoinette Bourignon; writ diary. 3 Bread; Antoinette Bourignon. 5 Prayed; private prayer. 6 Prayed; sand; prayed for Ingham; Antoinette Bourignon; prayed for Mrs Hawkins. 8 Read Prayers. 8.15 Lay down.

Charles' Journal, April 6, 1736

Tues., April 6th. I found myself so faint and weak, that it was with the utmost difficulty I got through the prayers. Mr. Davison, my good Samaritan, would often call, or send his wife to tend me: and to their care, under God, I owe my life.

Today Mr. Oglethorpe gave away my bedstead from under me, and refused to spare one of the carpenters to mend me up another.

Charles' Journal, April 5, 1736

Mon., April 5th. At one this morning the sand flies forced me to rise, and smoke them out of the hut. The whole town was employed in the same manner. My congregation in the evening consisted of two Presbyterians and a Papist. I went home in great pain, my distemper being much increased with the little duty I could discharge.

Sunday, April 4, 1736

About four in the afternoon I set out for Frederica in a pettiawga—a sort of flat-bottomed barge. The next evening we anchored near Skidoway Island, where the water, at flood, was twelve or fourteen feet deep. I wrapped myself up from head to foot in a large cloak, to keep off the sandflies, and lay down on the quarterdeck. Between one and two I waked under water, being so fast asleep that I did not find where I was till my mouth was full of it. Having left my cloak, I know not how, upon deck, I swam around to the other side of the pettiawga, where a boat was tied, and climbed up by the rope without any hurt, more than wetting my clothes.

Charles' Journal, April 4, 1736

Sun., April 4th. Many of the people had been ill of the bloody flux. I escaped hitherto by my vegetable diet; but now my fever brought it. Notwithstanding this, I was obliged to go abroad, and preach, and administer the sacrament. My sermon on, "Keep innocency, and take heed to the thing that is right, for this shall bring a man peace at the last," was deciphered into a satire against M.H. At night I got an old bedstead to lie on, being that on which the scoutboat-man had died.

Charles' Journal, March 31, 1736

Wed., March 31st. I begin now to be abused and slighted into an opinion of my own considerableness. I could not be more trampled upon, was I a fallen Minister of state. The people have found out that I am in disgrace, and all the cry is, Curramus praecipites, et Dum jacet in ripa calcemus caesaris hostem.

My few well-wishers are afraid to speak to me. Some have turned out of the way to avoid me. Others desired I would not take it ill, if they seemed not to know me when we should meet. The servant that used to wash my linen sent it back unwashed. It was great cause of triumph my being forbidden the use of Mr. Oglethorpe's things, and in effect debarred of most of the conveniences, if not necessaries, of life. I sometimes pitied, and sometimes diverted myself with, the odd expressions of their contempt; but found the benefit of having undergone a much lower degree of obloquy at Oxford.

Charles' Journal, March 30, 1736

Tues., March 30th. Having laid hitherto on the ground, in a corner of Mr. Reed's hut, and hearing some boards were to be disposed of, I attempted in vain to get some of them to lie upon. They were given to all besides. The Minister only of Frederica must be afrhtwr, aqemistos, anestios. Yet are we not hereunto called, astatein, kakopaqein. Even the Son of man had not where to lay his head!

I find the Scripture an inexhaustible fund of comfort. "Is my hand shortened at all, that it cannot save? or have I no power to deliver? I gave my back to the stutters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair. I hid not my face from shame and spitting. For the Lord God will help me, therefore shall I not be confounded. Therefore have I set my face like a flint; and I know that I shall not be ashamed. He is near that justifieth me; who will contend with me? Let us stand together. Who is mine adversary? let him come near to me. Behold, the Lord God will help me: who is he that shall condemn me?"

Charles' Journal April 3, 1736

Sat., April 3rd. Nature I found endeavoured to throw off the disease by excessive sweats: I therefore drank whatever my women brought me.